march 4th, ...it is march 4th. i remember when i was a kid my aunt and uncle would have friends over on march 4th to celebrate. they would "march fourth! into the new year", ...or something like that. today feels much more defeated than that. i do not feel like marching forth. i feel like retreating.
john was admitted into the hospital this morning. his ultrasound showed a large, snake-shaped 15-20 inch blood clot in his left leg, from groin to half way down his calf. he is on IV blood thinners as well as oral for 2-3 days until the oral "kicks in" on their own and the IV can be removed. he can finish the thinners at home by pill. that should keep the clot from getting any bigger. the body should dissolve the clot but due to the size it will take about two months.
2 months to get off the chemo.
2 months to dissolve the clot.
sweet spring.
his colonoscopy is scheduled for tomorrow. we were unable to keep his appt for the kidney biopsy results due to the hospitalization but have received word verbally that all was clear so that needs to be enough for today.
the chemo and antibiotics and diabetic insulin all continue as usual. this doesn't change any of that.
i am retreating from words like stroke, heart attack, death, or amputation. any of which are possible with a blood clot, especially one this big. i am not entertaining those thoughts. i am going to go outside with my kids and play in the snow right now. i shall pray and throw snowballs. it's really all i can do.
k
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