i know i know

today is the day i'm supposed to tell you about what a healing crisis is. but i'm in a time crunch so for now i'll just say that yesterday i vomited and john fell (we're both fine) and it wsas expected. today i fell against the wall and john said screw this and cooked up some veggies in extra virgin olive oil. he's still on board, a modified board, and that's totally ok. he needs to listen to his body. i get that. i need to listen to mine. i feel like i'm at an important place. like a break through is happening and if i modify today i will thwart it. so, i'm still in, per protocol.

the vomiting and falling over, along with dizziness, aggitation ... healing crisis. more tomorrow.

before closing i'd like to mention chapter 9, ... the chapter that tells you how to safely turn your digestive system back on. i read it last night. you have to introduce one food group at a time, one per day. starting, of course, with vegetables, then fruit.

apparently stromboli is not a food group.

anyway, you do it so slow that it takes a full one week.
one full week!
during that week you drink the usual gruel for the whole day but at lunch you get to have one cup of the new food (only one cup?!). so in actuality, you're still on the program for that whole week with the exception of one cup of food at lunch. i am trying not to tantrum.

then there's a 'maintenance schedule' for another week. it's eating, but it's very structured.

for anyone who's counting that's five weeks, not three. uuuuhhhh.... so, the reality is that this 21 day program is 35 days long. ...deceiving!
i know i know, had i read the whole protocol prior to starting the program i would have known that. whatever. i'm busy.

so anyway, i've decided to do the chapter 9 reintroduction of food next week. i'll still drink the juiced gruel all day but i'm introducing food back in at lunch, one cup at a time. at least that way it's only a month long thing instead of 5 weeks.

i have to say, i feel good. i feel better. there are things happening that i can't explain. john said that he is glad we did this b/c he knows it helped him. he said that the tingeling in his extremities has completely gone away since starting juicing. that's significant. i know that when i sleep, i sleep hard. and when i'm awake, i'm totally awake. there's no groggyness in the afternoon and no need to lay in bed a little longer in the morning. i truly do just pop up as soon as my eyes open.

so, it's hard as hell, and an extreme exercise in self discipline, but mentally and physically worth it.

the mentally part is probably a whole other post but this is enough for today.
k