"oooh it's shocking! it's electric! boogie woogie woogie!" (the electric slide song)

so, i'm not sure even how to broach this so i'm just gonna put it out there for all of you to roll your eyes at and wait for the onslaught of emails telling me we are crazy. though, i'd like to formally request, don't bother. i do not have much to say regarding what you do with your spouse in the name of health when he gets almost fatally ill and stays chronically sick and would not dream to comment on it, so please do not comment on what i do with mine. thank you. we now return you to our normal programming.

long story short, we have begun using what we lovingly call, 'the zapper'. it's a small electrical device that has wrist straps (or you can put them on your ankles) that puts a small electrical current into your body with the purpose of 'zapping' critters (primarily parasites). it doesn't hurt and you can leave it on for just a few minutes or up to all night, depending on your health levels and what it is you're trying to accomplish. yes, studies have been done that show efficacy in patients. no, those studies are not FDA approved. wow. stop being such a buzz kill.

hahahahahahaha. get it?! "buzz" kill?! hahahaha. i am so funny i crack me up pretty routinely.

i wore it all night along with john to see what it was like. i don't like him doing stuff w/o me at least at first knowing how it makes a healthy person respond, yet alone a sick one. there are three settings. i kept mine on the lowest but i've noticed that as john gets more comfortable with it and sees that he's not exploding, he has been wearing it at the highest level (which, do not fret, is exceedingly low even at highest).

we both got small blisters around our wrists when we wore it there, a healing crisis that was to be expected, and switched to our ankles where we've had no problem at all. we've been doing this since just after the halloween spots incident, so, about a week i guess. john has also been experiencing fatigue and grumpiness, both are symptoms of a healing crisis. his body needs to work some things out.

i heard about this from a friend of mine who's daughter was diagnosed with a pretty fatal type of cancer and after zapping (and yes, eating well, removing toxic cleaning products, participating in traditional western allopathic medicine along with some eastern medicine) she is in remission. i am not silly enough to believe that any one thing got john sick. i will not be silly enough to think any one thing can get him well. it is like anything in life, it is a mystery, a puzzle, a formula with many variables. it is science and it is art and it is biology and it is faith all in one ball.

the last time we saw the naturopath there was a decrease in parasites based on his supplements and diet changes alone. when we go back at thanksgiving time it will be interesting to see if this has helped at all beyond that.

i know i know, it's crazy. whatever. roll with it. you needn't be concerned unless you catch me slipping it on you as you sleep. until then, sorta not your bees wax. so then why do i share? for the same reason i blog, ... for documentation of a chain of events in case he gets sick again and also for those who know we are crazy already and love us anyway. to those people, this will come as no surprise. townsons try anything at least once.

ZZZZZAP!
k

what spots? i don't see any spots?

marc anthony woke up sunday morning (after absolutely DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY on saturday night) with spots on his neck, and in pain.

we ignored it.
we are still ignoring it.

the pain has decreased but the spots are still there.

still ignoring.
lalalalalalalalalala (fingers in ears).
so there.

signed,
cleopatra

absolutely not.

this cannot happen again. no way. no.

john has been on and off in increased pain for a few weeks now. i haven't mentioned it too much i think bc i was in denial. then, night before last, his leg swells up (the one that had the blood clot last year). the whole thing sweels up and hurts him and when you press down on it, it does not pop back up. like squishing down a wet dishcloth that's under plastic wrap. or really soft playdough.

and then, ... he gets a spot.
one. lone. spot.
of vasculitis.

we know what it looks like. we know how it all started before. this cannot be happening again.
he has had one lone spot here and there before over the past year, and pain here and there, and swelling and squishyness here and there.
he has not had all 3 at one time though. not like this. maybe milder. but this swelling and squishyness were pretty bad, and then the spot...

he did go play basketball last week (i think i told you that?) and he tried to go last night despite his leg but there was no game scheduled. i was quietly thankful bc i feared in his attempt to be 'normal' he would have made what ever this is that's lurking, worse. he needed to rest more than he needed to pretend he was fine.

there are days you pretend. then there are days you sit your ass on the couch.
he will be sitting his ass on the couch tonight too.

we have a halloween party to go to on saturday night. it is the one that we went to last year and he danced with me and it landed him in bed for days. he is much better this time around than he was last time but still i'm concerned that the timing of these symptoms combined with dancing will pose a set back. please pray that the man can just catch a break and go have a nice normal time on saturday night without suffering debilitating consequences. that would be really nice.

thanks for caring.
k

chemical free is the way to be, ... unless you're trying to hide your grey roots

ever so ever so ever so slowly, ... i have been trying to get rid of chemicals in the house. of course, no house will ever be chemical free, ... what with the chemicals in even the drywall and the paint and the carpeting. i mean, geesh. but it seems to me that every little bit helps and while i can't control everything, i can control what i can control.

so, i set out.
on a journey.
to be (sorta) chemical free.

it is hard.

why is it hard you ask? well, first, it's expensive. also, it's kinda inconvenient. then, there's the old habits that are harder to break than you think. after that, there's the husband who sorta thinks the whole thing is poppy-cock.

let it be known, i do not think it is poppy-cock.

i think that vasculitis, along with many other ailments in life, have an environmental component to them. i have allergies, as do the kids. and yes, we have a cat and dog; but we also have a house full of toxic chemicals that are desguised as lemon scented and meadow fresh. i think it all plays a part.

i've managed to switch to naturally made soap (the skin is the largest eliminatory organ of the body after all. if it allows bad things out, ... it would make sense that it lets bad stuff in too) and shampoo and conditioner (or as naturally made as you can reasonably find). i've stopped using dryer sheets and we're switching to dryer balls. we've switched to natural lotion (my dry elbows and heels let out a sigh of relief that i didn't give up lotion altogether) and purchased a water purifer to get out the flouride and other city water junk. i've switched to naturally made cleaning products and my kitchen and bathroom smell like essential lavendar oil and eucalyptus already.

there have been challenges, ... as evidenced by the fact that aluminum free deodorant does NOT deodorize, despite what the "naturally fresh" label says. i tremble at the thought of giving up my face products and do not get me started on the "natural beauty of grey". i scoff. i will dye my grey until i am dead, ... even if what ultimately kills me is the hair dye. i know i know, i contradict myself.

baby steps i say.
k

well it's about time.

i am finally starting to get better. almost 3 weeks. geesh. tests for everything under the sun all came back negative. i have 2 more tests i'm getting results on tomorrow and then i'm cleared to go back to work provided the fever stays down. i've been so sick i did not even have the gumption to blog anything. luckily, john stayed well and there was not much vasculitis blogging to do anyway.

he has been mentioning some odd sensations but i think while i've been sick he's been keeping symptoms to himself. i catch him grimicing sometimes when he thinks he's alone or i'm not looking. he's been drinking soda again which is c-r-a-z-y bad. we shall be addressing that shortly. for the next few days though, i still don't have much fight in me.

we go back to the naturopath in november. usually when i mention that he gets his act in gear. i'll wait until i have a little more spunk and then i'll casually mention it.

he says he wants to go play basketball with they guys tonight. he has said that for a few weeks and then not gone. tonight he admitted to me that "the last time i went and played basketball with the guys i woke up with vasculitis".
i said, "you realize that basketball didn't cause the vasculitis, right?".
he said, "yes. ..... (long pause) ... no. i don't."
"basketball doesn't cause vasculitis, babe."
"i know, but physically intense activity can bring it on, so in the back of my mind that keeps coming up."

ok, i have to respect his fears. it takes courage to face your fears. he has a ton of both (courage and fear). he may or may not go tonight, but i know that eventually he will. he is strong. i admire that about him.

thanks for caring.
k

this week i learned...

that i simply cannot blog while i have the flu and a temp of 104 for 3 days. i am now on day 6 and the temp is down to 100. 2 of 3 kids have the runs and a low grade temp. it is fun times at the townsons for sure. it is not H1N1, i do not have the necessary symptoms. and to that i say hall-lay-lu-ya bc if this is the 'regular' flu, H1N1 would have killed me.

john and isaiah are fine. so no worries there.

i will blog again when i do not feel like my eyeballs are going to pop out of my eye sockets and onto the laptop.
k

Johnny Appleseed

God met me in the apple orchard yesterday.

The whole family went apple picking. It's an annual event for us involving fresh hot cider donuts and cider, picking fall vegetables, wild flowers, and this year there was a labrynth to walk. The sky was pretty clear and the view of the hillside was breath taking and the air was crisp and the wind was just enough to be refreshing and not threatening.
...and John was healthy. (relatively speaking).

Remember, last year when we went apple picking, things were grim. The doctors had pretty much sent John home to be perpetually ill and early death still was a pretty good possibility. That's us in that pic over there to the right, 3rd one down. We look pretty happy except that we're all actually stressed out and pretending no one notices. John was still swollen from the steroids and still on insulin from the steroids and had just come off the chemo. I'd change the pic except I don't want to forget. I want to remember to live every day like it matters. I want to remember that I have an exceptional family that genuinely pulled together when things sucked ass. That's us pulling together over there, ... picking apples and valuing the time we have together even though we are all stressed and exhausted and worried. But I digress, which seems to be my way lately.

Anyway, so we went apple picking. And as John and Noah went one way (they like green) and Mary went another (she likes any apple that is small) and Isaiah went another (he likes MacIntosh) and I stayed right in the middle so as not to lose any of them, ... it happened. I wasn't alone. God was right there. S/he said, "you didn't think you'd be here this year, so how 'bought them apples?' (God's pretty funny). And as the birds flew over head and I heard my family bellowing to one another and my favorite season, ... a season of thanks, ... starts for yet another year, ... I was met in the orchard by God.

I love when that happens.
And then I cried. But of course they think I'm a big sap so they don't know. Don't tell.

All that having been said, all that peotry in motion, I just need to pepper with a dose of 'sometimes families are crap to deal with'. Isaiah climbed a tree and impaled his knee such that it spouted blood for about 20 nonstop minutes with not a tissue in sight to apply pressure. Mary declaired in the middle of the orchard, the furthest point form the entrance (where the restrooms are), that she needed to go to the bathroom (bc of coure she had not gone when we first arrived like i asked her to). The boys got into a pushing match over, ... I'm not sure what, and I had to spend the last quarter of the trail explaining why pushing and name calling are not acceptable options in this family, ... for the hundredth time this month. So, ya know, sometimes families are crap to deal with.
...But I'm thankful for the crap too.

And ps John is still exercising daily. Ony 20 minutes but it's a hard 20 minutes and is the start of a long road he has to go. We were in church today and he looked so handsome and HEALTHY, oh my, he has his color back. But when we sat in the pew and I held his arm it was startling how much his arm muscles have atrophied. It will be a long haul but at least he's on the road. I am so grateful.

He is at his office interviewing a potential new employee as we speak. Let's hope he finds someone today that does not have an aversion to actual work.

Keep praying please. Prayer is powerful stuff. Thanks.
k